published: February 14, 2020
Let’s start out with a statement of truth: You are Enough.
Who you are today is enough.
How you look today is enough.
What you are capable of today is enough.
And, in 5 years, these statements will still be true. And, in 10 years, they’ll still be true. And in 20 years. And in 40 years.
Becoming self-confident
I don’t know about you, but for me, I have mixed feelings about February. Valentine’s day is my least favorite holiday, one I felt left out of as a child (I was the late bloomer, the ugly duckling, the shy girl, the awkward one who didn’t get many Valentine’s day cards).
Yeah, I’m older now, and I’m quite comfortable being myself these days, but that self-acceptance, self-love, and ultimately self-confidence was not easily won.
Being who I am to the world did not come easy either. I hid. First, in the back of the classroom, behind books, later, behind make-up. Eventually, I got tired of hiding. I got tired of not making myself known and heard and seen.
I had a few defining moments to help me realize that it really doesn’t matter what other people think.
There are enough people in this world to accept me for exactly who I am to make it okay to show myself – my entire self, bare face included – to the people I interact with every day.
And, I’m here to share something I learned with you: The transition is not nearly as scary as it seems.
You have it in you to be yourself to the people in your life too.
You have it in you to show your bare face at work every day. That’s right, you can go to work make-up free (I’ve been doing it for 6 years).
It may sound trite, but I really believe that walking into the office day in and day out without make-up boosts our self-confidence... then again, maybe it’s just me.
Let’s face it though, self-confidence is just one aspect of being comfortable with being just us.
Ignoring the messages of inadequacy
We are bombarded day in and day out with messages that we are inadequate.
The beauty industry exploits this message about make-up, our body image, our hair, looking our age, and even how we carry ourselves (I don’t know about you, but I’ve yet to meet anybody IRL who walks like those models on TV or looks like any of the women Hank “dates” in Californication).
And, this message of inadequacy doesn’t stop at our physical appearance and expression. So often, we are asked to give more of ourselves. Demands at work are forever increasing because (as you’ve probably personally experienced) what you did yesterday isn’t good enough today.
Businesses of all sorts have taken a note to push us past our limits to the point where we work even on our vacation days.
And, then, of course, there’s our personal life.
In the few hours a day between work, preparing for work, and sleep, we try to squeeze the needs of all our friends and family into our day. What gets squeezed out of course is time for ourselves.
The result of course is that we are weary.
Pause for just a second here and check in with yourself right now. How do you feel? Did you feel your heart rate quicken, your blood vessels constrict, your breathing shallow just reading the past few paragraphs?
BREATHE
DEEPLY
In and out. And, again.
We are over-extended and under-nourished, and I’m not talking about our bodies here.
Our mind and our souls need time to regenerate.
Each and every one of us needs time to process the world at large, to check in with our own thoughts
to cipher how we feel in light of what’s going on in our lives.
I think the reason why you don’t allow yourself this precious time is the same reason I deny this recess to myself… we feel guilty,
we’re Type A,
we feel like we should be productive,
and we just plain hate to say "No" to anybody – whether that’s to our boss or to our dearest friend or to our mom or sister or spouse.
But, here’s the deal. We can race through life and reach the end
or we can slow down and take the scenic route
and still arrive at the end at the same moment.
So, I’ve got a challenge for you.
For the next week, would you be open to examining your schedule and carving out 10 minutes for yourself, just 10 minutes a day to do something just for you?
What does this look like?
It might look like a hot cup of green tea (scented with jasmine of course) mid-day when you really need to unplug for a few minutes.
And, I’m not talking drinking that tea while you’re answering or scanning emails, I’m talking finding a quiet corner (by yourself or with a friend) and just sipping tea for a few minutes.
I'm talking, lazy Saturday mornings, and long Sunday evenings.
It might look like sitting on the floor with your dog in your lap for 10 minutes after work before you make supper.
It might look like meditation before bed (or in the morning - my favorite? Jeremy Falk with MoveWith - 10 minutes, in and out).
It might look like a glass of red wine and a great book... or even better a journal, and losing yourself for a solid 15 minutes (I know, scary, right?).
And, it might just look like a few reminders sprinkled throughout your day to take a few deep breaths and repeat these words “I am Enough”.
If you need a little inspo, here are some of my favorite quotes for relaxing (some literally have the power to transport you to another world... I'm quite sure of that).
Quotes to empower, inspire, and transport you
"Cherish your solitude.Take trains by yourself to places you have never been. Sleep out alone under the stars."
―
"Go so far away that you stop being afraid of not coming back. Say no when you don’t want to do something. Say yes if your instincts are strong, even if everyone around you disagrees... Decide if fitting in is more important than finding out what you’re doing here.”
―
About the Author
Brandy's a formulation scientist and self-proclaimed health geek who loves hiking, gardening, bird-watching, and body boarding.
Her struggle with acne during her teens and 20s led to a holistic and healthy approach to skincare, embracing skin as an organ to be loved and cared for rather than a canvas to wage war on.
Since 2008, she's been developing all-in-one products for a simple routine at home, & Rain Organica started when her backpacking friends asked for a portable skincare routine to keep their skin healthy & happy on and off the trails.
You can try Rain Organica for yourself with The Essentials Kit, a complete skincare routine in just 3 steps.
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